10 Ways To Have An Awkward 1st Date

The lovely Brooklyn of This Little Blonde is taking over my blog today. Whether single, dating, engaged, or married...you're gonna LOVE her post.

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I know I know, ANOTHER Guest Post. But don't stop reading. Because if you need a laugh today (and believe me you do) I am your girl. I am here to share all the glorious horrible awkward dating experiences I have had in my life. Yep. You're welcome. So I wrote a list for all the men in the world to follow, if they want to have an awkward date.

1. Show up 30+ minutes early. 
Half curled hair, no shaved legs, eye liner on one eye, this is what we girls live for. Being picked up super early. Always a great start to the night.

2. Don't open any doors! 
Not the car, the restaurant, nothing. Standing outside a door waiting for her to open ensures awkwardness.

3. Ask her zero questions about herself.
Make sure you are terrible at making conversation. Don't ask her what she likes to do, about her family, or where she is from. All of those would lead to actual conversation. And that would be a pity if you are aiming for awkward.


4. On the same note, talk about yourself the whole night.
I'm not talking about answering the questions she asks and telling stories at appropriate times, those are all comfortable. I'm saying you should act like a total tool and tell her all about your gym buddies, your high school glory days, and the newest addition to your hunting wall. Frat party stories are extra credit.

5. Bring up other guys you know she's dated. Ask how they are doing.
No explanation needed.

6. Talk about politics, lawsuits and rumors you've heard about her past dating experiences. 
The best way to bring out the crazy in a girl is to get her on the defense about the things she really believes in.

7. Try to kiss her in front of her parents.
This is especially valid in high school.

8. Don't give her any clue as to what you are doing or what she should dress like.
Nothing creates awkwardness as well as showing up for a hike and picnic in a white dress and heels. Nothing.

9. Invite yourself in when you go to drop her off.
Even if you thought things were going well, you wouldn't want to just say goodnight and leave her wanting to talk more would you? Didn't think so. Overstay your welcome until she has to come up with an excuse to bail.

10. Ask her if things feel awkward.
Because well if they didn't, they do now.

Come visit me around my parts, and learn about the best advice I've ever received, what I do when I get stuck in a Burger King drive through and am feeling sassy, or the cure for inferiority.  And also because I think you are so awesome, I am offering you all 50% off either the Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella Sponsorship for April! Use code NEWLYWEDMOMENTS to get the discount. Spaces are limited so sign up soon! Can't wait to meet you!